Category: Dating and Relationships
Hi all.
I think this is the first topick i am creating in this category.
I am not sure if there are other simmilar topicks but i would be interested to see your oppinions on this matter.
I personally feel very uncomfortable when people are kissing in front of me. I have got this feeling especially when it is only me and the couple in the room. It is not as bad when i am with other people as well.
I personally think that things like that are speciall moments and it should be done when a couple is on their own. But it is only my oppinion. It doesn't mean i am right or wrong for believing so.
I think part of the way i feel is the country i was borned. In Cyprus it doesn't seam to be so accepted people kissing in front of other people. It was in England the first time that it happened to me. i was in the computer room and it was only me and another couple and they were kissing without thinking how i feel. I mean when they are two couples it is not so bad but a couple with another person i think it is inrespectfull.
But if i was borned in England probaply i would see this activity as something normal and i wouldn't feel unconfortable.
Me and my girlfriend when we are with friends we never do something that would make people to be unconfortable.
So it would be good to read your oppinions.
Nikos
Turned on and if I'm with my partner we indulge ourselves..
once it led to a great conversation with the other couple,we compared kissing techniques and the best way to find maximum enjoyment
I'm with Nicos in that I don't feel comfortable with partners kissing in front of me and likewise wouldn't do it in front of a third person. My friend and her boyfriend had done that once, in my room, when we were going down the block, and at the restoraunt we had went to eat at. It just felt weird to me as if they had no reguard that there was a third person there with them. To me, maybe if I were with my date I wouldn't mind as much, but it just feels awkward otherwise.
My culture and religion also not support kissing infront of other people. So, its embarassing to me.
personally, I don't have a problem with it. if a couple is practically eating each other's face, then of course it'd be awkward, but if they're just simply showing affection towards one another, there's nothing wrong with that.
I think if a couple do it in front of just one other person, it could and has been uncomfortable to me. It is embarrassing lol. but if there are more than one, then I think it's ok, as long as you're not eating each other's faces.
however, I'm totally ok with doing, and being kissed in public. lol.
It doesn't bother me in the slightest, even if I'm the only other person around. Sometimes people just want to express their affection publicly, and sometimes they just want to kiss for the hell of it. Lol, either way, I'm okay with it. If it went beyond kissing, then I might be a bit uncomfortable. I figure, I don't object to being kissed in public, so I shouldn't object to being around others who do it. Also, my mom and stepdad and my sister and her boyfriend do it constantly, so I guess I'm used to it.
I never minded people kissing each other affectionately, but when it goes past that point, when tongues and hands and touching get involved, well ... I'd rather not be seen with them in public. LOL.
I feel shy!. Gur'r'r'r'r'r'r'r.
I don't want to be in front of people when they're kissingg. I personally wouldn't do it in front of a third person, but that's me.
If we are talking about a simple kiss, which I don't think we are, then that's fine.
If we are talking about making out and I'm the only other person in the room I think it's extremely rude. It's an exclusionary act that says, in effect, we wish you weren't here, you wish you weren't here, why are you here?
Very disrespectful and rude.
Bob, the kurmudgen! (however you spell it).
Christ! Could it be Bob that you were brought up in a house where the mere mention of sex was forbidden, and babies magically appeared from nowhere..
I love to be kissed in public by my partner. It affirms that he is not ashamed of me and is in fact proud of me and proud to be seen with me. It makes me feel attractive, sexy, desirable, accepted, charished, pretty and basically happy. I don't mind if two people are kissing in front of me, even making out, as long as no clothing is coming off, no hand jobs are being given and as long as I am not wittnessing someone cheeting on their partner. I would feel compelled to comment in the later situation and possibly even to interceed. Sex is a beautiful thing and it shouldn't be hidden away and treated as or regarded as taboo or unclean. Granted I am not one to advicate intercourse or oral sex in public, but making out and a little caressing and stroking is fine with me. Obviously if an ex boyfriend was with another person in front of me and engaging in such activities I would feel extremely hurt and uncomfortable, even angry, but aside from that I don't take issue with it. The only other circomstance in which I would object to public displays of effection is if it is hurting conversation or inhibiting one's studies, job or social skills. I wouldn't want a couple making out on the couch when they're supposed to be babysiting one of my future children or having two students making out in a lecture class, thus causing a distraction, or seeing a bus or cab driver pull over and have a two minute makeout session with their partner while I'm late for a flight or a train connection. I say, as long as their's no in-deasceant exposure, that is of brests or genatles, no crude or explicit language in the dialogue or violent behavior during the making out, and as long as it isn't distracting someone from their work or studies then go for it, and enjoy your self.
I agree in a way with the last post. It is good to show to our partners that we are happy with them etc. But i think there are better ways of doing it instead of kissing. Holding hands, or giving them a hugg. I don't mind doing this in pubblick and i wouldn't mind if other people did it either. Probaply i wouldn't know it anyway if they dit it. But kissing makes me feel so uncomfortable.
Well, that's your cultural upbringing. It's certainly not wrong, just different. If it makes you uncomfortable then just think how lucky you are not to be able to see all of what does go on right in front of you. You have a bit of an advantage, as you don't like to witness PDF, Public Displays of Effection.
No, Goblin. I was brought up in a house where sex was taught as something special, sacred and private.
Bob
Oy vay. Now we're gonna get into it. This is becoming a question for my Human Sexuality class. Let's take this into an anthropological and sociological arina, shall we?
How do I feel? Indifferent.
only last week I heard a couple kissing like mad early morning, while sitting on a train. It makes me feel uncomfortable, though having said that, I was at a train station on the way to the airport with my love last year, and we hears a couple kissing, so we started then, Lol it was somehow more romantic but yeh .. certainly don't agree with the whole tonsil hockey thing in public or around me! :)
Sometimes it may make me feel jellous or wistful, but just the other day I wittnessed two people sitting in the snow, oblivious to every one and everything around them, kissing madly with their hands all over one another's faces, hair and necks and shoulders. It was beautiful, a celebration of love and of life.
Post 13 says everything that I could possibly want to say on the subject!
Thank you very much for summarizing it all for me. hehe
Michelle
Ever since gays and lesbians have come out of the closet, little children have become confused by their public displays of affection. I'm not saying these lifestyles are wrong, but if it leads children to confusion and doubts about their sexuality, then perhaps it should be kept out of the public eye. Just my opinion.:)
I'd have to agree with the "I don't really care" people.
I agree with singer
Then, how are children supposed to make up their minds and learn about the world around them if we hide things from them that might cause confusion? That is not the way to go about it at all. Answer all of your children's questions, absolutely all of them, at least to some degree, be open and honest always and they will have the information and the tools to make their own informed, responsible, intelligent decissions. It's that simple.
I truly agree with you. But most parents don't want their children to witness such behavior fearing that they will begin to imitate what they see. I guess this is called homophobia or something. And let's say these kids do begin to act out what they see, then come to realize that they're not gay or lesbian afterall. How will they cope with the guilt or with feelings of being ostracized by the world? Isn't this what their parents are trying to spare them from? And have you ever witnessed gay-bashing? Let me just tell you, those poor souls are treated like animals; it's not a pleasant sight. And yes I know the same can be said about heterosexuals displaying their affections publicly. But let's be honest, a man and woman will not be attacked in the same way homosexuals would be. That's just the way things are. I'm just pointing out how some people react to these things. Thank you.
It don't bother me as long as they don't eat up on each other's faces. I mean if u want to be all lovey dovey do it when u r alone with your partner. It gets annoying after awhile and makes me feel very awkward.
That's why I tend to not hang out with couples that much, u just can't have the fun u want when your with them for some reason.
Well, sexual exploration and experimentation is natural and people shouldn't feel ashamed or guilty because of what they might have done or tried while still discovering who they really are. It might weird me out a little if I had a child who at an appropriate age experamented with homosexual relationships, but I would recognize it as a natural way in which they were experiencing the world and learning about their place in it.
Hi, I don't like kissing in public either, the same as Nikos. Although I've grown up in Britain, where it is more acceptable than say in other places, it still makes me uncomfortable. I've got family members who kiss in public sometimes, and even though it's family, I still don't feel comfortable with it. I think it's a private thing, and surely you'll enjoy it more when you're on your own.
Just another question.
Do you think that people who would not kiss infront of people normally they would do it infront of blind people because they think that the blind person wouldn't know? I think people like that are stupid.
Even if they can kiss without noice the unusual pause without speaking to each other would make us suspect something especially if we are the only 3 in the room.
lol, that's what my brother does. I can't work out whether he's doing it to wind me up, or because he thinks I won't notice because I can't see.
I think your brother is different. He just feels familiar with you. He doesn't think blind people are stubit and don't know anything about sex like other people.
yeah, I know he doesn't think I'm actually stupid cause I'm blind or whatever. Maybe he just doesn't think it through but, you could be wright about the familiarity thing though.
I think it's really too bad that so many people can't recognize the beautiful, frank and open nature of public displays of effection. This is the whole reason that there are so many stigmas attached to sex, especially in western societies.
Yes, I think it is in fact guilt that they feel, otherwise, what would stop them from returning to homosexuality once they've discovered that this lifestyle is not for them? I can logically assume that a guy who has experimented with other guys but finds that it's not for him will reach a point in his life that he feels guilt for what he has done. Even if it's false guilt enforced by public stigma or by the judgemental attitudes of his heterosexual friends. Or maybe shame. But I don't think loss of interest in other guys is what would stop such a person from returning to that lifestyle. Guilt is a good thing to feel at times you know. And I think that guilt is what would enable a person to persist in his/her lifelong conviction to remain either straight or gay. But as I've never been in those shoes, I guess this is all based on my own opinion. And this is off topic so I'll just shut up now. And as for public displays of affection, I wouldn't want to be kissing my girlfriend while complete strangers are watching. That's called voyerism; some sickos take pictures or shoot couples doing this. I have no problem with being seen in public holding hands, but anything beyond that is just lewd in my opinion. lol
in terms of my comfort level with PDA's... I don't have a problem if people choose to kiss or hug in public... I do have a problem with long drawn-out make-out sessions. Don't give me the "We're just showing how much we love each other" argument; long drawn-out make-out sessions simply show how hormonal you are. If you're in the privacy of your own home with no one else around, go for it if that's your choice... but the sounds associated with making out, etc., etc. just disturb me.
I don't have a problem with it. I just think that it's wrong if a couple goes to extremes and are sucking their faces off and wriggling in each other's arms. Save that for private moments where it can lead to stripping and foreplay and sex!
I feel really uncomfy when people are kissing in front of me...
I feel that it depends on the situation. Like if I am walking down a street and 2 people are strolling by and they kiss briefly that is ok. If though you are with your friend and there significant other it could get a little messy depending on how it was done.
Agree with what most have said: a little hug or kiss is okay, but no more! Anything more is rude, or just done to show off.
I had a boyfriend once who constantly tried to kiss in public, and I was extremely uncomfortable with that. He probably would have done some groping too, if permitted! That's private business, as far as I'm concerned; I wouldn't dream of doing such in front of people! It doesn't mean I'm repressed, just that I have manners and respect for others. I appreciate it when other people show me this respect, too. ... not that this even has been an issue in a long time. LOL
Well, I've been told that I'm too quiet on the zone--so in an attempt to extracate myself from the wall, I thought AI'd throw my opinion in to the ring as well.
It would be really interesting (and I'm sure I could probably do it if i had the time and/or energy) to see the ages of the posters to this topic. I say this because when I was younger, I was much more comfortable with public displays of effection--I was even the kid in high school trying to make out with my girlfriend under the bleechers at the football game. lol As I grew up, and experienced more, extreme displays of public effection became increasingly grose to me. I'm to the point now where if two people want to share a quick kiss, or even a really long hug, I'm really ok with that...holding hands, totally fine. But much more than that, please, take it behind closed doors. Well, unless it's the ocean, but that's a whole nother story. lol But it drives me crazy when i go out to a nice club or bar or something, and some girl is sitting on the lap of her boyfriend, or friend...to me it's about self-respect, and that doesn't show a whole lot of self-respect.
But like you said Christina, I've not had to worry about that for a loooong time!
Hi. I am 24 myself and i never remembered feeling confortable with people kissing infront of me.
But you might be right younger people these days don't seam to mind.
See, outdoorsman, that wasn't so bad was it?
You bring up a really good point. I'm not going to do it, but some budding statistician could check the ages of the posters to this topic, and rate each one as to whether they are for it or against it. A simple correlation should do the trick.
Anyway, good idea.
And, for the record, I'm against heavy petting in front of me and I'm 62 years old. Proves it!
Bob
I agree with those who have said that just a quick kiss or holding hands is fine. Keep the rest private, please.
True, to me it doesn't matter. If they want to kiss, but if i was the one kissing, i don't want it done in public. Sometimes its even fun to watch people kissing. Well, if they are both good kissers. Hollywood celebrities are fun to watch especially in the movies.
I wouldn't mind it at all. It is there freedom to do whatever they wish. If one does not express there disliking and the fact it is encroaching on ones liberty of course the couple wouldn't know they mind. If that person has been in a room with them before and has shown discomfort and they still proceed then, yes, it could be problematic. Yes, it would be recommended as good communications to ask for consent and for purposes of friendliness.